Updated: Oct 11, 2018
In the past few weeks there has been more than a few incidents that has reminded me of some recent and some old pains. This is how I plan to approach it: “ I see you Mara!”
Very Lean Method inspired Solution:
Acknowledge the secondary feeling that comes from decision making fatigue and label it. Is it pain? it is confusion? is it self-doubt? is it a deep rooted impostor syndrome? tip : write your answer down!
Activate the protective and friendly parent. Create a second voice in your head that tells you "you will be fine with utmost compassion" . If you are the uberly rational type (like me!) add reasons why "you will be fine" to the self-parent script. e.g. You will be fine, because you have found a way to be fine everytime you faced trauma.
Enjoy being Fine! Tip: write down how it feels to feel centered again. Sometimes we forget the moments when we freely make brilliant decisions and feel confident about those decisions. The simple tasks of choosing what type of gas you put in your car or what type of toothpaste best suits you could be celebrated! create a habit of acknowledging your power of decision making for it to grow (incentivizing good habits by good feelings will allow for those synapses in the brain be re=-enforced)
...When the criticizing voices arise again, acknowledge the pain again
Train the parent to be even more loving if necessary and not worry about the repetitions! e.g. if something in your mind says: " I keep doing this to myself" write a script for the compassionate mental self-parent that goes as follow "habits are hard to break and to approach your demons requires courage everytime"
Start believing in “I deserve happiness” mantra – Most often we self sabotage ourselves and our decision making because we do not believe that we deserve good outcomes/happiness. (I think "happiness" is overrated but that is another article!)
Create routines that give you planned time for the self to express itself in the form of "play", to make fun decisions for no apparent reason!!!... Do you like making things with your hands? do you like writing or painting? allow yourself to make decisions outside of the corporate war room and places that the decision outcomes are creative and non-crucial. Who cares if you choose your painting's moon to be green after-all? you were being surrealistic and abstract!
Slowly start the tasks of recognizing , eliminating or at least minimize the voice of external factors of blame (e.g. semi-supportive friends, family members, work associates, etc..) We often underestimate how much energy we spend battling with ourselves muting the voices that make us feel "less". This energy add to overall mental fatigue and leave less room for decisions.